Computes can now be flagged auto_connect in the database. The controller
connects to flagged computes in the background at startup (reusing the
one-second delayed fire-and-forget mechanism), and enabling the flag via
PUT /computes/{id} triggers a background connection without the request
ever waiting for it. Disabling the flag does not drop an existing
connection.
Add POST /computes/{id}/disconnect to tear a compute down manually: the
notification stream and HTTP session are closed and every reconnection
path (retry backoff, notification stream reconnect, lazy connection in
http_query) is blocked until connect() is called again or the controller
restarts with auto_connect enabled. Disconnecting a compute used by an
opened project is rejected with 409 unless force=true; forcing only
drops the controller-side control channel, nodes keep running unmanaged.
The local compute cannot be disconnected.
Also make test_compute_list create its own compute (it relied on rows
from earlier tests and failed under reordering), and stop scheduling the
delayed add_compute connection during tests: the timer leaked real
connection attempts into other tests' event loops.
